Monday, January 11, 2010

OMG, I'm a real BFD - JK


After years of being told I was "funny", I knew that stand-up was something I really wanted to try. But like Tyra says on ANTM "just 'cuz you're the prettiest girl in high school, doesn't mean you can be a model". B-b-burn, T-Rex. But it IS true that just because you're funny doesn't mean you'd be a good comedian. But, you never know until you try and you never wonder if you just fucking do it. The only thing holding me back is my crippling stage fright. Oh, yeah ...that.

I hadn't performed in front of anyone since the 5th grade when I played Mowgli's wolf mother in my elemntary school's rendition of "The Jungle Book". I stood up there, 11 years of baby fat stuffed into my "wolf" costume (heather gray sweatsuit set) and delivered the line "Oh Mowgli, we'll miss you so". Running off stage, I knew right then and there that I would never do that again. The silence, the judgment. Sure it was the opening scene, but where was my applause? I'm 11. Dicks.

Needless to say, that 21 year promise has become the brick wall in the way of my desire to do stand-up. So how in God's name would I conquer this? I needed a supportive environment in front of a controlled audience to practice, so I signed up for an Improv class. It was just the thing I needed. So tonight (after much mirror time and a dry bit run to Seattle's own Dirty Darliene Parker), I got on an open mic stage tonight at Manhattan's Bowery Poetry Club. There were probably 30 other performers and ne'ery do an NYC open mic have people in the audience who are there to watch. For those unaware of New York's comedic underbelly, it's a tough joint. The audience usually consists of other performers waiting to get on stage themselves. And frankly, they're usually not laughing because:
1. You're not funny
2. They're thinking about their own routine
3. They envy you (not a real concern of mine) ....or don't like your shirt (also ...not a real concern of mine).
No matter which way you roll the dice, they're not laughing and your feedback is limited.

My friend Sarah was called on stage 2nd, leans over says "Ooh, I'm nervous!" and proceeds on stage. She's nervous? She's been doing stand-up for 10 years - I'm fucked. Called on stage 7th, I was happy to just have it over with. It was either perform or have a stroke. I was shaky and sweaty, yet somehow managed to spit out the jokes to mostly utter silence. With amazing support from friends and hilarious comedians Sarah Tollemache, Daniel Mahoney and Jonathon Powley, I conquered my fears and survived to bomb again someday.

Before I left, another of the nights performers, Amy Stiller (STILLER), the self-proclaimed "LaToya of the Stiller Family" (pictured), congratulated me and said I did a great job. After admiring Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara's ability to create someone who looked like BOTH of them, I was SO humbled. Someone SO funny, who was raised by true comedic Gods, thinks I'm funny - if even for a minute.

Thank you, New York, I'm having a magical time. Now, send cute boys.

Thanks, Delores

7 comments:

  1. OMG I WANT IN!!!!!! This is so effing rad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is so rad, Delores! Let me know when you're doing it again so I can come and laugh my ass off at you!

    xoxo
    nora

    ReplyDelete
  3. Okay, dudes! I"ll let you know. But if you can't laugh with me, just laugh AT me. I just want laughter

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sweet D!!!! You are the queen of getting it done. A role model for all of us for sure. Dang I wish I could have been there to support you. You make me laugh just thinking about you. JK. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nicely done D! You always managed to make us laugh in Seattle. Hope to hear about more of your successful laughs...

    ReplyDelete
  6. D-Low, I am super proud of you. and also pissed that someone else already has the handle 'Runner Mom' I was totally going to use that.

    Luke

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good Job Mamma!! I'm SO proud of you!
    xoxoxox~

    ReplyDelete