Last week was a bad week. Droning on about my own life on the phone outside of a Soho restaurant, my whole world changed. Actually it didn't, which is the primary problem. Jon Bon Jovi walked out of the restaurant I was standing in front of. He (no shit) flipped his jacket collar up and continued down the street ahead of me. And all I thought was "why is his head so big? Could it be that all that voluminous wildcat hair he's famous for having is just excessive amounts of skull?". Here was the front man of the modestly eponymous band "Bon Jovi" (BTW "Slippery When Wet" was my very 1st independent cassette purchase circa 1986, which makes this ALL the more upsetting).
You're probably asking yourself, "What is the issue?". Well, I'll tell ya. I used to get excited about celebrity sightings. I used to feed off of them. Once, in Seattle, I had a chance encounter with Conan O'Brien trying to pass as a "normal" and HELL NO did I let him get away with it. I quietly asked "Conan?"; he nodded a little irritatingly. That was it, but that was enough. I was high as a kite for the rest of the year. Why? Because it was exciting to me. New York City has stripped me of that childlike wonderment and untouchable status of the celebrity. NYC has also stripped my ability to buy peanutbutter or fresh produce from the grocery store, but that is minor in it's effects compared to the death of my unhealthily, obsessive joy.
When I saw the JBJ, I didn't even take the time to interrupt my own conversation to tell the person on the other end of the call. Nor did I remember to tell anyone that I'd seen him for nearly a week! I have now become NUMB to the affects of celebrities. How New York is THAT? Celebrities walk around NYC like regular people. Who do they think they are - regular people? US weekly begs to differ, presenting in every issue "Stars: They're Just Like Us!". See, it IS weird that celebrities cross the street, just like us. Or pump their own gas, just like us. That's why it's news. So why is it that I should NOT be affected by Bon Jovi thinking he can just walk down the street like a "normal"?
Bon Jovi, if you're reading this, we BOTH missed out on the experience of my excitement and for that, I'd like to make it up to you. I will now listen completely non-ironically to "Slippery When Wet" as an homage. Oddly enugh, "Livin' on a Prayer", "You Give Love a Bad Name" and "Never Say Goodbye" are songs that still resonate in my life 24 years later (actually much more so now, than in 1986). Thank you, Jon for your timeless relevancy, and good luck buying hats directly off the shelf.
